Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My sons are strange, part deux

Because I thought this would amuse you, my loyal readers, I will tell you some things that have recently happened 'round these here parts. Don't know where the hick talk is coming from. Last week was Dickens, this week I'm channeling a very ungrammatical redneck. Go figure.

First, Gabe has recently decided to declare a "Cat of the Day" and give said cat a parade in his or her honor. To do this, he puts the cat on top of his head, with the poor beast's back feet on his shoulders and front feet hanging over his forehead. He then marches around, singing loudly. It is a special song that he made up, and it changes depending on which cat has earned the "Cat of the Day" award. The fact that he has now twice been scratched on the face by annoyed beasts has not dissuaded him in the least. It has led to my having to answer a lot of questions posed by random strangers, along the lines of, "Do you breed tigers in your home?" or "What got a hold of him?" I can only assume these people don't have children. Or possibly that my children are far weirder than theirs.

Timothy, meanwhile, has a new favorite movie. He found my copy of the movie "Nadia" and has been watching it over and over in his room. This brings back memories. My sister, Dre and I used to watch this movie until we nearly drove our parents insane. We knew every line, every gymnastics routine...and Nadia was our hero. For those of you who are uninitiated, this movie was a made-for-tv story of the life of Nadia Comaneci. It was made in the early 80s and contains overly dramatized bad acting of all varieties. Our dad recorded it off the Disney channel when I was about seven or eight. Anyway, toward the end, as Nadia's life starts to come unglued due to the pressures of being the world's best gymnast, she has a terrible fight with her best friend, Teodora, and then tries to commit suicide. Not to worry, I'm not letting Timothy watch anything shocking. I actually didn't realize until I was an adult that she's trying to kill herself. You just see her stare at a coffee cup, then she collapses. If I recall, she tried to drink cleaning chemicals or something. I looked it up once. So Timothy enjoys these highly dramatic scenes, and likes to re-enact them in his room. It goes something like this:

Timothy (playing Nadia): "I wish they would leave me alone!"

Timothy (playing Teodora): "I will be HAPPY to leave you alone!"

Timothy, standing in doorway (playing Nadia): "I don't need you! I don't need anyone! Go on! Don't be my friend! DON'T BE MY FRIEND!!! Timothy slams his bedroom door loudly. He then collapses on the floor by his bed.

Timothy (playing Nadia): "Help! Help me! Somebody help me! Heeeellllpp!"

I have tried hard to catch both these instances of my kids being weird on video, but as of now, I've been unsuccessful. Which is too bad, because it's really funny. Just don't tell them that! Is there any hope of them growing up to be normal people, I wonder? Nah, just look at me!

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