Why didn't anyone tell me that as a mother of boys, I would spend most of my time as a referee? Also, while we're asking the important questions, can anyone tell me if there's a school for become a better referee? Because at this point, I make a lot of bad calls. For instance, today I've spent the better part of the afternoon breaking up wrestling matches. So just now, when I was trying to shove the boys into the shower (about like trying to bathe a cat, only more dangerous!), I happened to realize that Timothy's hair was sopping wet. The water in the shower had not yet been started, so I found this to be perplexing. "Timothy," I asked, "why is your hair wet?"
"Because it was in the potty gettin' a swirly!" was his innocent answer.
"GAAAAAAAABBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEE!!!" I bellowed, "What is the meaning of this? Why would you do that? What made you think giving your brother a swirly was a good idea???"
Gabe looked up from his disrobing, and calmly said, "Mama, I didn't give him a swirly, he gave himself a swirly. And he had just used the potty and didn't flush!"
See, bad call. And disgusting (but unfortunately true) story. I hope to complete my referee training by the time my sons are grown, and graduate to the UFC. I'm sure they will appreciate my skills at calling fights and kissing owies.