Today I publicly ran into an automatic door when it refused to open for me as I was leaving Target. Walked smack into it, no doubt leaving a face print on the glass. Now why would an automatic door suddenly refuse to open? After I ran into it, it opened. After people laughed at my misfortune, it opened. So why? I feel like the girl in "Support Your Local Sheriff", who first uttered the words in quotes above.
And just so you know, this would hack me off far less if it were not the second time I've run into this very door at this very Target. Why me?