Timothy Joins the Blue Man Group

We've had a busy weekend around here. Some of the things that we worked on included washing the car seat liner and cleaning out my mom-mobile, finishing up the plaster Christmas village we've been working on for the last eight years so it can be packed away, going through pictures and organizing them...and Gabe and Chris have been working hard on their entry for this year's Pinewood Derby. What does all this have to do with Timothy joining the Blue Man Group? Good question!

We had a lasagna in the oven, and while it was cooking, Chris had gone outside to reassemble the car seat and put it back in my car. I left the kitchen to take Chris the car seat's cup holder, which I had just washed, and decided to stay out and put the final coat of clear spray on the Christmas village. In the approximately two minutes I was outside, disaster struck. When I returned to the kitchen, I found Timothy standing in a kitchen chair, covered head to toe in bright blue paint. He had opened the little can of latex enamel that Chris and Gabe had been using on the derby car, and had apparently decided to see how he would look in a nice shade of blue. The only thing that stopped me from running for the camera before trying to clean him up was the idea that if he saw me taking his picture, he might try a stunt like this again. And even so, I almost regret not doing it anyway. The sight of his little guilty face, with blue paint dripping everywhere, left me at a loss for words. I truly wish you could have seen it.

In the long run, I now know that wet latex enamel paint will mostly wash out of clothing (and one sad bear) so long as you jump on it and get it right into the sink. Further, I find that dry latex paint does not scrub off of a two-year-old boy very easily, and he has now gone from blue to bright pink from all the scrubbing. He endured it fairly patiently, which is good because I didn't want to have to explain that one to his preschool teachers tomorrow.

I am thankful to God for granting me the patience to find this slightly amusing, to my eldest for his ability to run quickly and get his father before the blue paint spread, and to Chris for being the best teammate in the world in these situations. Now I must be going. Chris and I have decided that opening a bottle of wine with dinner will do us both a world of good!

Try as I might, I couldn't resist the mighty mind of the Betherson. I tried to get up from the computer and go do something useful, but she kept willing me back. The force is very strong in this one! (Also, she seems to be causing me to channel Yoda!)

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments. What is it?
1. Produce: Vine ripe tomatoes. The expensive ones. Hey, it's your money!
2. Bakery: French bread.
3. Meat: Not a big fan. Can I save that money for the checkout line and buy some dark chocolate instead?
4. Frozen: Tortellini?
5. Dry goods: Going to have to go with Beth and say kitty litter. The rest of my shopping could result in dinner, but litter is what we're usually out of, so there you have it.

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of CLOTHING with you. So, what's in your bag?
1. Jeans
2. Hoodie
3. A good bra. (This is seasonal. If it were summer I'd say shorts, a tank top and my swimsuit.)

1 task you wish you were better at doing?
1. Cleaning the house.

1 Celebrity you wish you looked like (silly, I know:)
1. Hmm...Katie Holmes? That was the first one that came to mind.

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. Timothy, do you need a spank? (To which he invariably answers yes!)
2. Put the work in your abs!
3. Get off the counter, ______! (Insert any cat's name in blank.)
4. Honey, would you please get me a drink of water while you're up?
5. Where did all this laundry come from??

So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?
1. Morning cup 'o joe!
2. Read, knit, crochet, something with a little down time for me!
3. have a bit of chocolate (Beth's answer was perfect, so I'll leave it as it is!)

What 5 places do you visit roughly every week?
1. Kids' schools.
2. Nichole's house.
3. Sam's.
4. Pilates studio (ok, not lately, but normally!)
5. My parents' house.

If you were to shop at three stores for a whole year to supply your wardrobe and money was not an issue, which 3 would it be?
1. This is hard because I've never shopped anyplace expensive...I'd say Kohl's first...
2. JC Penney
3. Nine West (You can see where my priorities are! The only place I'd spend more than I usually do is Nine West!)

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
I know this is cheating, but I have no desire to see any show live. I prefer DVR!

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. Chocolate Therapy. Ben and Jerry's stopped making it two years ago, and I'm still in mourning.
2. Sweet cream from Marble Slab.
3. Bunny Tracks. You're going to have to do a lot of running around to make this cone!

Somebody stole your purse… in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. Giant blue wallet that used to match a giant blue diaper bag.
2. At least seven different lip glosses.
3. A notebook that substitutes for my brain.
4. Crunched up goldfish (or some other kid snack) in a ziplock bag.
5. Cat hair.

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?
1. Pay attention to that guy in your college freshman psych class. You're going to marry him someday!
2. A lot of really bad stuff is going to happen. Don't worry, you'll survive it.
3. The glass is NOT always half empty.
4. Your parents are not nearly as dumb as you think they are. At least, they're about to get a whole lot smarter in coming years!

The best love letter I've ever gotten...

I've threatened to post this love letter for quite some time. Oh, how I laughed when I received it. It is far too great to keep to myself, so here I go, sharing it with the world!

"To the only dwarf that I love,

Indeed all other schlumpys (schlumpies?) pale in comparison. Here are a few of the things I love about you:

1. Thou art the perfect height. I doest not have to look up thine nostrils, nor upon thine scalp when speaking to thee.

2. Thine earlobes art naught overly pierced, and thus, saggy (my heart desireth a taunt earlobe).

3. Thou doest naught cause me to feel shame over my non-stepford wife ways. Contrary, thou encouragest it.

4. Thou hast produced an offspring, wherewith mine firstborn might be able to wed. For this, I thank thee, my lovliest of schlumps, for I am indeed....motivationally challenged, and it would have taken me a great deal of time and trouble finding a rightful beau for my daughter.

5. Thine laugh is contagious, oftentimes to the point that I doest pee into mine pantaloons. There is no truer friend than one that makest one void oneself.

The list could go on forever, but Kaitlin must go to school. Thus, my waxing must wane.

Love ya lots,

Christina

p.s. from henceforth "not" shall now and forevermore be known as "naught" "

Don't get them wet...they'll multiply!

Meet the latest member of our feline family, Boris' evil twin, Horace. The two of them spend a lot of their time sitting on the front porch and howling at one another. I spend a lot of time sitting on the front porch trying to be the mediator. Neighbors frequently stop and stare openly at me as I comment, "Now, Horace, you and Boris can learn to co-exist if you really try. Look for common interests!" Unfortunately, their common interest seems to be the sitting and howling. Oh, well, such is life.

In other news, we all enjoyed our Christmas. The kids got way too many toys, and I keep tripping over them, which amuses kids and cats alike. Chris gave me this nifty new laptop, along with wireless internet. I'm lying on the couch typing! Woohoo! Now, if only I can learn to use it! Or, more importantly, sew myself a new tote with a laptop compartment. Then I'll be cool and full of technology (most of which I still don't know how to use!).

Decking the Halls!

Is he cute, or what?

Once again, I've managed to upload the pictures in backward order. So, we start with the decorated tree...

And the decorated wine rack...The stockings, as you can see, are hung on the wine rack with care. Hey, don't knock it! We don't have a chimney!


My pink flamingo tree!

Jack likes to blend in with the decorations. He's very festive.

One of the few pictures of me. For some reason, when I looked at the ones we took, all the ones of me were of my backside only. CHRIIISSSS!!! Yes, he was in trouble for that one.

Timothy enjoyed decorating the tree. He's also enjoyed undecorating it daily ever since!

Gabe helped set up the tree!

Chris, freezing to death while hanging Christmas lights! What a guy! I might have to forgive him for the pictures of my posterior.

Santa's helpers!

Just us reindeer!

Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!

Iced in and going crazy...

Ok, "iced in" might be a bit of an exaggeration. The roads are fine and I could leave anytime I wanted to, if there were anyplace to go! Our house seems to be located right in the middle of a tiny oasis of uninterrupted electrical circuits, so we're warm and dry. Technically, I shouldn't be complaining. But the fact of the matter is, I'm stuck inside a house with two small boys, one big one, six spoiled cats, and a dog with a sense of humor. That's not a misplaced modifier. The dog is the one with the sense of humor, not me. I lost mine at about noon today when I realized the dog had one. Maybe he has MINE!

I'm starting to smell odd odors. Let me also admit that I'm the only one who can smell them. Conversations tend toward the following:

Me: "Do you smell that?"
Chris: "Smell what?"
Me: "That horrible smell."
Chris: "No, what does it smell like?"
Me: "Sort of like a combination of feet and moldy potatoes."
Chris: "Been walking over any moldy potatoes lately?"
Me (pacing around and sniffing): "Not funny. It's not my feet, it's right here. Come smell it."
Chris: "Now why would I want to get up and come over there to smell something bad when I'm perfectly happy sitting right here and smelling nothing?"

At this point I may or may not have burst into tears and stated that men never understand anything. You never know what I might do when I've spent too much quality time with my sons, who haven't been allowed to run off any energy in days.

On the bright side of things, after having spent my entire summer lamenting the annoyance of a crew of tree trimmers, who camped out in my yard every single day and appeared to do nothing, I have working electricity when nobody else does because they did a fantastic job of clearing away all offending trees from the power lines. This should teach me a lesson about giving thanks for everything, but it apparently hasn't, since I'm already on to complaining about the ice storm. Ok, ok, I'll be thankful for the ice storm, too. But I'm only slightly thankful. How's that?

I would put up pictures of what everything looks like under a blanket of ice, but my camera was misplaced in a moment of mad cleaning earlier today. I remember setting it down somewhere...but I'm not sure where. Perhaps the dog has it. It would be his idea of a practical joke. That and sneaking up behind unsuspecting cats and woofing loudly. His practical jokes are beginning to wear on my nerves. Pray for my sanity, and the sanity of all other moms trapped inside with energetic children!

The most disgusting story ever...Not for the faint-hearted (or the faint-stomached!)

Ok, not really sure why I feel the need to tell this story, but perhaps I feel you should share my misery. And if you've read the title and are still reading, don't blame me for what follows. I've already said that this is unspeakably disgusting. Read at your own risk!

Last night Chris and I fell asleep on the couches. We do this every night, actually, and some odd mental alarm clock wakes me around 2 o'clock, at which time I pry Chris off the couch and we go to bed. Last night was a little different. First off, I had fallen asleep earlier than usual, knowing I'd have to get up at 5 to go teach a class. For some reason, this had the effect of resetting my mental alarm, and therefore, I was still peacefully asleep at just after 2 am, surrounded by blissfully snoring cats. Well, at least three of them were blissfully snoring...the fourth was awake.

Let me take a short side trip from my story to state that the sound a cat makes when hacking up a hairball can wake me from a dead sleep. Seriously, if I ever die, don't try to give me cpr, just put a hacking cat nearby. As the owner of numerous cats, I often wake long enough to mentally note, "Uh oh, there goes a hairball. Be sure to check your slippers before you step into them, and then watch where you step," before I'm asleep again. Three of my cats make that sound. The fourth doesn't. Back to the horrifically gross story...

Where were we? Oh, yes, we were asleep at 2:15 am! Then, quite suddenly, I wasn't asleep at all. I was wide awake, wondering what HAD JUST LANDED ON TOP OF MY HEAD!!! It was wet, it was slimy, it was a hairball! ON TOP OF MY HEAD!!! I sat up and it slithered off and splatted on the floor. Anyone need a barf bag yet? Yes, Meanie, who in this story, is the fourth cat, was sleeping on the back of the couch above my head when he suddenly launched a hairball. So, at a little after 2 this morning, I was up washing my hair and trying not to curse. The remainder of the night was spent shivering in my frigid bedroom, trying desperately to get some sleep before the alarm went off. Futile. My normally compassionate husband nearly fell out of bed laughing when I got back from my early class and woke him for some sympathy. Need I mention that Meanie and I are not on speaking terms? Anything I have to say to him at this point, I could say with the toe of my tennis shoe, and sensing this, he's giving me fairly wide berth today.

On a side note, I have several cats currently ready to be adopted, if anyone's interested. What, no takers? Your loss! And just remember, if a cat hasn't thrown up on your head today, your day is going a little bit better than mine!