Thursday, December 27, 2007

The best love letter I've ever gotten...

I've threatened to post this love letter for quite some time. Oh, how I laughed when I received it. It is far too great to keep to myself, so here I go, sharing it with the world!

"To the only dwarf that I love,
Indeed all other schlumpys (schlumpies?) pale in comparison. Here are a few of the things I love about you:
1. Thou art the perfect height. I doest not have to look up thine nostrils, nor upon thine scalp when speaking to thee.
2. Thine earlobes art naught overly pierced, and thus, saggy (my heart desireth a taunt earlobe).
3. Thou doest naught cause me to feel shame over my non-stepford wife ways. Contrary, thou encouragest it.
4. Thou hast produced an offspring, wherewith mine firstborn might be able to wed. For this, I thank thee, my lovliest of schlumps, for I am indeed....motivationally challenged, and it would have taken me a great deal of time and trouble finding a rightful beau for my daughter.
5. Thine laugh is contagious, oftentimes to the point that I doest pee into mine pantaloons. There is no truer friend than one that makest one void oneself.
The list could go on forever, but Kaitlin must go to school. Thus, my waxing must wane.
Love ya lots,
p.s. from henceforth "not" shall now and forevermore be known as "naught" "


The Almighty Betherson "Ninja" said...

oh this has made my night!!!!!! i miss you guys sooooo much!!!!! when will we get faded on here?!

The Almighty Betherson "Ninja" said...

p.s. i'm so glad someone else wants TAUNT earlobes...i thought everyone wanted taught earlobes. glad to know i'm not a freak....wait....

Lista said...

I don't know when the Faded One will arrive. She's doing well to keep up with myspace, as am I! I'll nag her some more on the subject.