Friday, December 7, 2007

The most disgusting story ever...Not for the faint-hearted (or the faint-stomached!)

Ok, not really sure why I feel the need to tell this story, but perhaps I feel you should share my misery. And if you've read the title and are still reading, don't blame me for what follows. I've already said that this is unspeakably disgusting. Read at your own risk!

Last night Chris and I fell asleep on the couches. We do this every night, actually, and some odd mental alarm clock wakes me around 2 o'clock, at which time I pry Chris off the couch and we go to bed. Last night was a little different. First off, I had fallen asleep earlier than usual, knowing I'd have to get up at 5 to go teach a class. For some reason, this had the effect of resetting my mental alarm, and therefore, I was still peacefully asleep at just after 2 am, surrounded by blissfully snoring cats. Well, at least three of them were blissfully snoring...the fourth was awake.

Let me take a short side trip from my story to state that the sound a cat makes when hacking up a hairball can wake me from a dead sleep. Seriously, if I ever die, don't try to give me cpr, just put a hacking cat nearby. As the owner of numerous cats, I often wake long enough to mentally note, "Uh oh, there goes a hairball. Be sure to check your slippers before you step into them, and then watch where you step," before I'm asleep again. Three of my cats make that sound. The fourth doesn't. Back to the horrifically gross story...

Where were we? Oh, yes, we were asleep at 2:15 am! Then, quite suddenly, I wasn't asleep at all. I was wide awake, wondering what HAD JUST LANDED ON TOP OF MY HEAD!!! It was wet, it was slimy, it was a hairball! ON TOP OF MY HEAD!!! I sat up and it slithered off and splatted on the floor. Anyone need a barf bag yet? Yes, Meanie, who in this story, is the fourth cat, was sleeping on the back of the couch above my head when he suddenly launched a hairball. So, at a little after 2 this morning, I was up washing my hair and trying not to curse. The remainder of the night was spent shivering in my frigid bedroom, trying desperately to get some sleep before the alarm went off. Futile. My normally compassionate husband nearly fell out of bed laughing when I got back from my early class and woke him for some sympathy. Need I mention that Meanie and I are not on speaking terms? Anything I have to say to him at this point, I could say with the toe of my tennis shoe, and sensing this, he's giving me fairly wide berth today.

On a side note, I have several cats currently ready to be adopted, if anyone's interested. What, no takers? Your loss! And just remember, if a cat hasn't thrown up on your head today, your day is going a little bit better than mine!


Josh and Brooke said...

I think I would have killed the cat! but that's just me... not much of a cat person. I think at the very least I would have thrown him outside! :o)

Christina said...

Is Meanie one of the cats you're adopting out?

Lista said...

Well, he was a permanent resident...but after this incident, I'm willing to part with him!