Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Set up by a 2-year-old!

Having now been a mom for nearly eight years (where does the time go, and when did I get so old?), I have mastered the art of mechanical answers. After listening to kids chatter for extended periods of time, it gets positively easy to answer their many queries without much thought. I have found that without much effort, I can drive the car, answer questions related to complex theories of physics or molecular chemistry, and mentally make a grocery list. Those of you who know my eldest will realize I'm not joking. He really enjoys science. Anyway, I'd been doing this mechanical answering for many years...then along came Timothy!

The first set up actually happened to Chris a few months ago. Timothy is a master of asking the same question repetitively, and increasingly louder, until he gets an answer. One night, as we were cooking dinner (OK, Chris was cooking dinner and I was getting out and putting away ingredients!), Timothy was hopping around underfoot yelling "Can-I-have-a-drink-can-I-have-a-drink-can-I-have-a-drink..." and so forth. Chris finally stopped our conversation mid-sentence and said, "Yes, you can have a drink!!!", to which Timothy promptly replied, "No, he may have a drink!" You have to keep in mind that Timothy always refers to himself in the third person. We laughed over this set up, and went on, never knowing how often this was going to happen.

Shortly after this, Timothy was on my lap with Bear and Duck one evening, chattering happily. He kept sticking his hand through a hole in Duck's lining and saying, "Look, Mama, I'm Santa!" This puzzled me a bit. At some point, he forced Duck over my hand and I asked, "Why does having a Duck on your hand make you Santa?" He stared at me thoughtfully, then replied condescendingly, "No, Mama, I don't have a duck on my hand, you have a duck on your hand!" And so I did.

Yet again one evening, as dinner was being prepared, Timothy was hopping around underfoot. Although I was standing in the kitchen with no intention of leaving, he was yelling loudly, "Bye, Mama!". Not just loudly, but repetitively, in fact. Finally, in an effort to pacify him so Chris and I could continue our conversation, I replied, "Bye, Timothy!" Without missing a beat, he asked, "Where you goin', Mama?" I seem to recall Chris rolling on the floor and roaring with laughter.

Finally, last night we were driving to my parents' house to celebrate my brother's birthday. Timothy had been silent for some time, and then he asked, "What you doin', Mama?" I replied, "Riding." He came back with, "Ridin' in Daddy's car?" Mechanically (although I should've known better!) I replied, "Yes, I'm riding in Daddy's car." There was a pause, then "Daddy doesn't have a car. He has a truck!" Of course he does. How could I have forgotten?

It is fairly humbling to note that I am so often set up by my 2-year-old son. I can only hope to do better in the future, and think through my replies more carefully. If I don't, I'm sure Timothy will be happy to correct me.


Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Aaahhh, I am also the master of answering questions asked by the child without actually listening to the question...I feel your pain. Our children are similar. I wish I could say it gets better, but mine is 5 and a half...and her remarks only get smarter!

The Almighty Betherson "Ninja" said...

wait! i still want to know how having a duck in your hand (or timothy's) makes you (or timothy) santa!

Lista said...

I don't know the answer to that! He still says it every time he puts a duck on his hand, but he refuses to explain. Kind of like when I called my dad a Loasley Garver and explained that it was the worst thing in the world, but refused to elaborate. I remember doing it, and I remember having a more in-depth definition in mind, but by the time I was old enough to explain it, I no longer remembered what it was. A mystery for the ages!

Halcyon said...

AWESOME! He and Zoe definitely are made for each other. We should totally arrange their marriage right now while they can't fight back. Heh.

Lista said...

That could be arranged. Does she come with a dowry of sheep? Because that could be the deciding factor! :o)

Amy said...

(I take it Timothy is feeling better?) He should join the presidential race since he'd intimidate everyone! Think of how many pets the whitehouse could hold!

Lista said...

Since my mom can't seem to get her comments to work on my blog, I have to post an e-mail she sent me today in its entirety. Here goes:

Please don't tell me Lowsly Garver is spelled with a "loa". I've ALWAYS spelled it LOWSLY.
Being that you never were a very good speller, I guess that argument is settled.

Mom, wife of a LOWsly garver