Lessons I've learned whilst residing in a wind tunnel...

For those of you who don't live in Oklahoma, I would first like to inform you that it is windy here. Unduly so. That part in the song, "Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain", well let it suffice to say that they are not. even. joking. In fact, "sweeping down the plain is, particularly in the spring, a bit of an understatement. In fact, I think most days the plain is just happy if the wind doesn't sweep it right into another state.

I have now lived in Oklahoma for nearly 15 years. You'd think by now I would have learned everything there is to know, but no, the wind taught me an entire series of lessons today. I present them, for your edification.

1. On a very windy day, bumblebees get tired of the wind. They make seek refuge inside.

2. Five house cats are apt to notice a bumblebee the size of a hummingbird well before you do.

3. Cats who have discovered a large, loud buzzing thing in their house will immediately think it is some new game and give chase.

4. Five house cats giving chase is going to get your attention pretty fast.

5. A large bumblebee who has just been chased by five cats is going to be in a very bad mood. All your attempts to remove it from the house will be met with threats of violence.

6. On any day windy enough to drive a bumblebee indoors, it is not a good idea to try to go outside and clean bunny cages.

7. A 2x4' bunny tray, upon being caught by gale force winds, will come at your face at an alarming rate. In doing so, it will dump its unsavory contents, and in all likelihood, said contents will become an unsavory shower.

8. If you ever have any questions about whether or not you have hay fever and a tray full of dirty hay showers you, you can immediately find out. Hint: If you sneeze 27 times in 5 minutes, the answer is yes. And if you count the sneezes...well, you're probably a little weird.

9. If your back door is not well latched it will blow open with astounding force.

10. If you are bent over directly behind the door when this happens, busy scooping the cat box, it will probably hit you in the backside and propel you face-first into the litter box.

There, you're enlightened! And now I'm going to take another shower.