1. No, I'm NOT going on The Biggest Loser because I am NOT obese, I'm pregnant!
2. You're right that it was never a rule before, but from here on out, please consider "do not put the cat in a crate and push him down the slide" to be one of our house rules!
3. Do I even want to know why this week's laundry contained 13 pairs of your socks, but only 4 pairs of your underpants?
4. It takes months and months, and the right conditions, to make wine! You are NOT making wine in my kitchen! Now be quiet and eat your grapes!!
5. No one is allowed to wear the toilet plunger as a hat. I don't care if your brother did it last week.
6. Are you sitting on my orange? (In the kids' defense, this was directed at the cat, and yes she was. I washed it and ate it anyway. I was hungry.)
It is a disturbing fact that numbers 2-6 were all uttered by me today.