Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Zombies and other killer things in my neighborhood

It's a well-known fact that the man at the end of my street is a zombie. For one thing, although he is at least 60 years old and lives alone, he feels the need to come out at odd intervals of the night throughout the year to set off fireworks. I think he's trying to cause enough confusion and chaos that no one will notice if he eats a few people. For another thing, he has a bumper sticker that says "Got Brains?". And lastly, when I lost my cool last summer and stomped down the street in my pajamas to yell at him for waking my children with fireworks yet again, there was this odd smell of rotting flesh. He tried to tell me it was because everyone had trash out on the curb, but I didn't buy it.

Anyway, it's a weird neighborhood. I mentioned earlier that poison ivy attacked me over the summer. And I think I also mentioned the tomato plant that is trying to take over. Here it is in all its glory. I'm really not sure this shows the magnitude of this tomato plant, but it's roughly ten feet in diameter, and still growing. I didn't intend to have a tomato plant in my flower bed. The plant assures me that's part of its mystery and charm.

These are some of its offspring. They are delicious. Well, except for the one that was rotten and erupted like a volcano in my kitchen when I snapped the stem off. That one was NOT delicious.

And while we're on the subject of killer plants, meet mine and Gabe's favorite tree.

One morning on the way to school, Gabe asked if I'd ever noticed that the tree appeared to be trying to strangle the light pole. I hadn't, up till then. Gabe is pretty sure the tree is tired of being kept awake by the light at night. What do you think?


Heather said...

That is one amazing tomato plant! And yes, the tree wants to sleep in the dark for a change. I would, too!

sheboz said...

Are you trying to tell me that you tasted that tomato after it exploded on you? I think your boys are rubbing off on you.:)