Sunday, August 30, 2009

Beautiful Weeds...

I had a dream about my granny last night, and I can't stop thinking about it today. In my dream, Granny and I were sitting at a roadside park. We were on a trip together, and we had stopped to rest. It was a perfect spring day, and although Granny was beautiful and healthy, like I remember her from my childhood, I knew in the dream that she was going to die, and that this was the last time I was going to see her. We were talking about flowers. I asked her if she remembered the blue flowers that used to grow around her house when I was a little girl. They bloomed in the morning and then closed up for the rest of the day, and I thought they were the most beautiful flowers in the world. I used to pick them and bring them inside, but they would close up and never open again. I tried to press or dry them, but they lost all their lovely cornflower blue and just shriveled up. I even tried taking pictures of them, but the pictures never showed their true color. I asked Granny in my dream why she thought it was that I could never preserve them when I was a child. She answered, "Because it's against the rules, Honey. We don't get to stop time to enjoy the beauty we find in life. We don't get to keep it forever. We're just supposed to enjoy it as much as we can while we have it because it never lasts very long."

That's what my life is: a series of lovely weeds. The things I plant don't always grow, but there are plenty of flowers anyway, just waiting for me to stumble upon them. I wish I'd had more time with my grandmas. It doesn't seem fair that they're both gone. But I have so many memories of the things they said, the things we did together and the times I spent with them. I have the most beautiful field full of wildflowers in my memory.


MamaT said...

Beautiful. Sieze the day.
Love, MOM

Abby said...

That's beautiful, Lista. Really.